Archive for June, 2008

Ugly Guys with Hot Girls

For some reason, whenever an unattractive man is seen with a bombshell woman, society tends to automatically assume that the guy has a lot of money. In many cases, this may in fact be true. However, you shouldn’t be so quick to sell those guys short. Even the short ones.

A true ladies’ man knows that his looks are pretty low on a woman’s priority list. Being a dashingly handsome man will no doubt help, but it’s really just a little bonus. Any relatively normal or “decent” looking guy with the appropriate game plan can quite literally get any woman he wants, if he only applies himself.

This is not to say that a man who has been horribly disfigured in a fire stands much of a chance to win over Alessandra Ambrosio, but less extreme situations are not quite as impossible as many men think. So how does an average to below average looking man go about landing a super hot girlfriend? Well, assuming you’re not worth seven figures…

What the hell do you think? Confidence! That’s the name of the game! If you can make a woman feel like you’re not attainable, then everything will fall into place. Exceptionally hot girls are accustomed to guys having absolutely no game with them, that’s why many of them have such bad attitudes. If you come into the picture appearing totally unimpressed but simultaneously and mildly friendly, then you’ll see some serious results. You’ll also need to upgrade your text messaging plan, ideally to unlimited. They count incoming texts, you know.

Improving your appearance won’t hurt, but it should not be the foundation of your strategy. Getting in to shape is already a good idea, if for no other reason than to improve your quality of life (and extend it). If you’re more or less a slob, you’ll see more success in several other areas of your life by cleaning up and doing  your laundry more often. But these are all things you should do for YOURSELF, not simply for the sake of meeting or impressing girls.

Long story short, don’t be afraid of hot chicks and NEVER, under any circumstance, assume that any girl is out of your league. That is nonsense. I’ve always found it funny when jealous girls allow their boyfriends to express interest in celebrities, but not girls in “real life”. As if celebrities aren’t living breathing people that like to get it on. No one is entirely unattainable. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll be on the fast track to pulling girls like salt water taffy. I have no idea what that means…but hopefully you do.

Make me proud. Go forth and conquer.

Women Vs Hoes

For those of you that need a crash course on all the things to be wary of when dealing with girls, this video is for you. All comedy aside, what the man is saying is founded upon truth. His attitude may be viewed by many as extreme, but as far as we’re concerned it’s just an extreme example of how to have perfect game. You can’t let girls get to you, and as Todd says, you have to be the “dominant force”. Enjoy the video, and if you want to see more, head on over to ToddWentworth.tv and HoeBusters.com. You might not agree with him, but regardless of what you agree with, that attitude = countless chicks at your disposal (but be careful, because they may fall deeply in love with you and start to hang out in their cars outside your house).

Email Time!

Well, as a nice change of pace from all the Emails from disenchanted women telling me that I’m an asshole, an email came in the other day from a young man in a sensitive situation. Let’s call him…Fred!

Here are the key points from Fred’s email:

  • Fred is no stranger to the art of getting girls.
  • Fred just broke up with his girlfriend of six years.
  • One of Fred’s new ex’s friends has entered his life and offered her support.
  • Fred is balling, she’s not, but when they hang out she won’t let Fred pay for anything.
  • Fred finds this girl unreadable, and can’t figure out for the life of him if she’s interested.

Well Fred, one huge thing you need to take into account is the fact that you were tied up with the same girl for six years. It doesn’t matter if you were pulling 12 girls a week prior to that relationship, six years will definitely put some rust on your gears. After being with one person for that long, things become awfully familiar. The things your girlfriend of 4, 5, or 6 years does to show her interest is a world apart from a girl that you’ve been seeing for just a couple weeks. I think you know that, but you might need someone to remind you.

The fact that she won’t let you pay for anything could be construed as a sign of disinterest, if it weren’t for the fact that you mentioned she constantly shows an interest in hanging out with you (more than you reciprocate). In this case, I’d call it GOLDEN. If for no other reason than it’s so difficult to find a girl in this day and age that has a little bit of integrity and won’t easily allow a guy to pay for her shit. It could very well be that she is aware of your income bracket (if she couldn’t tell by your car, she heard from your ex), and she is simply too humble to let you pay, or she is intimidated and afraid to look broke. You have to remember that a lot of girls have no problem letting guys pay for stuff who they have absolutely no intention of having any sort of relationship with.

Above all else, the biggest indication of the fact that this girl is into you is the fact that she had the nerve to waltz into your life so soon after you ended things with her friend. Generally, this is frowned upon in the female community. Even if her friend (your ex) gave her expressed consent for her to hang out with you, she wouldn’t mean it. She would just be holding onto her pride and attempting to “get over you”. This new girl would not make such a bold move unless she thought it would be worth it, and it doesn’t make a lot of sense to jeopardize one friendship simply for the sake of another (much newer) one.

You asked for my opinion, so this is what you get! If I was to wager on this situation, I would most definitely put my money on “she’s into you”.  I have a feeling that the fact that you just got out of that longterm relationship has rendered you sort of stuck in that awkward place, where you feel like you have to relearn how to be with someone new. Honestly, she’s probably wondering why you haven’t made a move yet. And I bet the old Fred most definitely already would have! From the sound of things, the ball is still in your court and she isn’t losing interest. In fact, you may have inadvertently dug the hook in even deeper by making her doubt that you’re interested in her.

You mentioned that you’re not even sure you want to get into another relationship, which is totally understandable. It sounds to me like you definitely have the option, so the question isn’t so much “is she into me?” but rather “do I want another girlfriend?” There’s always the possibility that you’re only interested in this girl because you’re on the rebound. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s something worth taking into account. And if you do end up with this girl for the long haul…at least you know she won’t drive you into the poor house!

Wiener Size

What the heck am I doing talking about the dimensions of your dong? Well, for whatever reason, a lot of guys (especially among the ones looking for dating advice online) seem a bit preoccupied with this issue. The door-to-door salesmen of the internet know this, that’s why your junk email account is flooded with emails about wiener growth pills.

Depending on where you go seeking information about this, you’ll get one of two stories. The aforementioned magic bean (penis pill) salesmen will tell you that having a monster cock is imperative if you hope to find a beautiful woman that will not cheat on you. The slightly more scrupulous self-help sites will tell you that women don’t place as much importance on it as most men think, and that many men who believe that they have small penises actually are more likely to be in the average category. Neither sources are the authority on anything since most of the time both are trying to sell you SOMETHING. We might recommend this or that every now and then here at How to Get Chicks but we’re not in the business of making false promises of results and taking people’s money.

Of the two schools of thought covered in the last paragraph, the second one is much closer to the truth. Most girls don’t really care that much and they’re more interested in how well you perform. However, make no mistake, there ARE women who will place a great deal of importance on your sex flex specs. Women that make penis size a priority are typically more adventurous and definitely know their way around a bedroom. On the other side of the coin, they’re also fucking nuts. We won’t go into the psychology of it here, not in this post anyway, so just take my word for it. But regardless of whether or not the woman or prospective woman in your life places a great deal of importance on penis size, I offer you the same advice. It is sound advice that will fare well for any man, whether he’s got a thumb tack or a blimp in his pants…

You guessed it…just don’t give a fuck! You are wasting your time thinking about the size of your piece. In fact, if guys didn’t make such a big deal about it, it would probably never even occur to women. They’re far more concerned with how many other girls want to suck it than how big it is. Some nasty, spiteful, future lesbian women like to put guys down by insulting the size of their crotch cannon. Even guys who are sporting enviable members get those attacks. Girls figure it’s like the equivalent of you calling them fat. They know guys are likely to believe it or take it to heart, no matter how untrue it may be. Many girls are petty that way, and will result to the lowest common denominator to get a reaction out of you because they’re so insecure about themselves. Oh, how I digress…

If a girl makes a crack about the bulk of your baton, just let it roll of your back. I wouldn’t go as far as making any ultra non-funny comments like “great things come in small packages”, but feel free to demonstrate how much you don’t give a fuck by laughing or coming up with something a little more clever. Maybe something like, “yeah, that’s why I try to date gymnasts. They make it look huge”.  Your apparent immunity to her talentless attack will immediately disarm her. She will have no choice but to surrender herself to you and your _____ inch pole.*

*results may vary

Should you buy her a drink?

A friend of mine and I had a healthy conversation about this the other day: Should you buy drinks for girls at bars? My immediate instinct is NO, but as he pointed out, it can be effective when done PROPERLY. After talking it over with him, here is my detailed analysis of the situation…

First of all, understand that the following advice applies to girls that you just met (i.e., at the bar). If you’re taking a girl on a date, not buying her drinks is only going to make you look cheap. In such a case, there is a fine line between having game and being a loser. That’s not to say you should take her to the nicest bar in town and spend $150 on her, because that would make you a moron, and you’d be setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. Set the precedent early on of being an incredibly interesting man that commands respect, will not be taken advantage of, and at the same time is not a hobo or a tightwad. I digress…

When you encounter a woman at a bar, NEVER, under ANY circumstances, allow a girl to solicit you for a drink. Any girl that asks you if you’ll buy her a drink is simply trolling for the next sucker, and she’s probably broke as hell (or just smart and a total bitch). Don’t be that guy. Let someone else be that guy. Trust me, someone will be that guy after you respectfully (or disrespectfully) decline. If she is so smoking hot that you don’t want to cut her loose just yet, you could always engage her with something like, “alright, but that means you’re my lady tonight”. That’s not the best line, but that girl doesn’t deserve your best line anyway. Keep your game tight and you can easily take her home, just don’t try to build a relationship with that kind of girl. I guarantee she’s bad news. If she is offended that you won’t let her walk all over you, then great. Score one for you. Personally, I can’t stand those girls (in case you can’t tell). So they’re the first ones I photograph and put on the internet! So when IS the right time to buy a random girl a drink?

One girl? Hardly ever. Unless you saw her three hours earlier mopping the floor at McDonalds and you’re feeling compassionate, buying one girl a drink isn’t a good idea. You may not realize it, but many girls routinely go out with overdrawn bank accounts knowing fully well that there is no shortage of pathetic guys that will buy their drinks. The only way to really score points is to buy drinks for all of them. Just blitz their scene like you’re the life of the party and be like “hey you guys need drinks!”, and buy a round for all of them, and exit the scene shortly after to talk to some other girls. This way, the message you convey is not “hey, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get your attention”, but more so “hey, I’m the most awesome person here and I don’t give a fuck if you appreciate it or not”. This way instead of looking like a walking ATM, you set yourself apart from all the other losers and become a hot commodity. Girls anticipate guys laying it on them after they buy them a drink. If you evacuate the situation quickly, they won’t know what the hell to think. And to further inflate your popularity, you’ll inspire competition between them, because at this point they’re all interested in you. The kind of girls that go to bars to hook up are exactly the type that want whatever the hell their friends want. Do the math!

Hopefully now you can distinguish the difference between the right time (rarely) and the wrong time (almost always) to buy a random girl a drink. Personally, I avoid it altogether in any situation, but maybe the party-man strategy is more conducive to your personality.

On a side note, one trick to use girls’ fall sense of entitlement to get them to initiate a conversation with YOU, is to start smoking! Or at least pretend to. Having a lit cigarette at a bar (or outside the bar if you live in a generally non-smoking place) will draw nicotine-craving women to you. Of course, it will also attract men to you. It’s not the best method, but if you have trouble approaching women, it’s one effective way to engage them in a conversation. Girls are a lot less guarded if they are the ones that approached YOU. There is always the outside chance of a girl that was already interested in you finding an excuse to start a conversation with you. I call it an outside chance not because I find it hard to believe that some random girl would be interested in you without even talking to you, but because most girls will expect you to approach them anyway. So…that’s another tactic to consider. However, it may be debatable whether a few exra hookups > lung cancer.

Birthday Gifts for Her?

Maybe, just maybe, there is someone you have your sights set on that has a birthday coming up. Maybe, just maybe, you’re contemplating demonstrating what a thoughtful guy you are by buying her a present. And maybe, just maybe, you haven’t read a single fucking word I’ve said on here!

Alright, here’s the thing. No matter what your mother taught you (take all of her advice with a grain of salt, as she is still technically a girl), liberally buying gifts for girls will not score any points with them. If she’s your girlfriend, then that’s one thing. And even then, they shouldn’t be too extravagant. I’m not just campaigning for your bank account, this is for your wellbeing in general!

Take the following hypothetical scenario for example: Guy A and Guy B are both very interested in Chick A, who just so happens to have a birthday coming up in a week. Guy A buys her a necklace from her favorite jewelry store (which he took note of while she was rambling about material shit that she holds dear). She profusely thanks Guy A and tells him how she can’t believe he got her something so great and thoughtful, and praises him for a whole 30 seconds. Guy B casually tells her happy birthday, asks her about her plans, and then exits the scene. Carefully and masterfully using all of the other woman hunting tactics on this site, Guy B executes a swift and stealth mental infiltration of Chick A. Fast forward about a week…

Guy B and Chick A are laying in bed together, having just conducted a thorough field test of Chick A’s box springs. Chick A says “I wish I didn’t have to work tomorrow”, and Guy B teasingly replies with “Why? Aren’t you excited to see Guy A?”. She fails to completely stifle her laughter, gives Guy B a light pat on the chest, and informs him that he’s so “mean”. Moments later, the bell sounds and round 2 of the sex romp commences. Guy B is slightly annoyed by her cherished necklace tickling his face.

I know, you really like her and you want to express that. There’s nothing wrong with that. But that instinct is no friend of yours. Patience is your real ally in this situation. If you really care about her so much that you want to spend a bunch of money on her, then it’s worth your time to handle it skillfully and get her firmly stuck on your hook before reeling her in. If she’s not that special, and you just think that throwing money at her will expedite the process of getting her into bed, then you need to put on a pot of coffee and read every single page on this here site. Even if she is so shallow that you can buy her affection, what’s the fun in that? And will you actually be proud of yourself??? Use your head and you’ll have those girls buying your next pair of shoes. That’s game.